This is it.
The moment I've been dreading and waiting for.
This could be your wake-up call or, just another stupid post.

Blog would be abandoned till God knows when ( hopefully, not tomorrow) while Im hurting my brain and stocking up more fats. No more online shopping / friendster-ing / hours of blog-hopping . Dha. ( ButI might chech up once more to get infos about my spree goods ). May God bless yoll (: . Till then.

& in case you're wondering. The simpsons is a hell of a funny movie ! && I want to watch evan almighty & the rat who could cook. & firework with babes !

Bye there Delilah

Your jacket is the best one ever. (:

MTV is soooooooo damned good

It's 8:21 AM & it's too white around.

mmh. My mom's eldest brother passed away yesterday's afternoon and I don't even feel disturbed. I don't really care, I feel. I mean, not don't care don't care, but as in don't know don't care, if you know what I'm saying. Growing up alone with friends, only few relatives matter to me. Like say, blood-related family's members , 3 families from my mom's side , and one family from my dad's side. The rest ? I don't even care and like them, yes, you heard me right. Being honest, people from my dad's side are all so .... stuck-up ? Yeah ... Well, what to do. Anyway. May he rest in peace. Now , my mom is thinking of adopting the child, which, I'm DEAD SET againsit it. I mean, c'mon lah. he's not even nice or anything closer to someone who I would want to be related to. Okay, I'm bad ! But. well. let's drop this. and get on with our lives.

oh, I've acquired something from Social studies. In an argument/ dispute , one party has to be the one who's taken advantage of and the other has to be the one who has 'em all. That's sad.So, my malay teacher asked. How prepared I am ? closer to No than never. well.

Bye now.

to my small baby sayang who would not be angry with me, who promise to be there through it all, who listens to me, whose smell lingers around me wherever I go, who occupies my mind everytime, who always tries his best to understand. I love you sooooooooooooooo much. (: . Sorry about today, though.

mmmmh. Amaths was what the hell. I might just skip tomorrow's ... ugh. Tutor's down with fever. It's too oldschool, please. School's always fun and alright. Oh, evan almighty this friday, right syg ?!? can't wait for that :D ( it's confirmed then, since I've said can't wait. hahha ^_^v ). mmmh. I'm having flag-day on saturday ! That's no fair laaaahhhh. well. I' guess I'll just head off to Bugis with sis after that, that if she wants, or we'll have to go on sunday.

I love it when you listen to me. It makes me feel like I have a place in your life. I'll always be here alright. love you

HAILEY can shot down you bitches ! :D

mmmh. yeah. hi. At the rate I'm going at, I couldn't finish this thing by tomorrow. Besides there are integration, differentiation and trigonometry which would take lots of time to comprehend. Oh well. I need someone to tell me that I'm not over-doing it and it would pay off somehow, and I'm not crazy.

Maybe the reason is that .. .. I can not manage things on my own. Not that my friends can't, they could, I know they are always there. But at times, you just need someone who comes from outside of your world, who might be a world different from you, so that you really know there's a different way of living a life out there. Someone who you could fall into his arms and not care about the 90-more-day O level because you know, I know, we all know, he has nothing to do with it. All he would remind you of is that : you are loved. Maybe that is why. Just take my words on that.

I better get going. & oh, I'll update my lusts list soon.

You know, ahkong is right. I'm wasting way too much time on this, & it would be so stupid, so useless, so joke-of-the-year, if I don't get a good result. But I don't know , man. It's just ... not as easy as it appears to be. If I could get straight A just by flicking those books, then maybe I could get like fucking-straight As by now. I would want to just drop all these and have a life. Then again, I've gone too far to just drop flat on my face and wait for the day I'll die. Oh well. Whatever, besides, It's why I'm called a student and not have to earn my own money : to study. I would have to work my ass off if I don't do that. I mean. My parents have been doing their job wonderfully, so shall I. I hope, I'll be the one to have the last laugh :/
It's like a switch that's being clicked, breaking all the circuit just like that. It sucks , I know. Then again, maybe it's really a mistake ...

Bye now.
I'll get on with my bimbotic life.

Fuck.
This is so stupid. It's not about the whole I- forgot-there's-test-tomorrow kind of situation. The story is that you have studied the whole fucking book for the whole Goddamned day for paper one, when what's coming out is paper two. & You could have used the day to spend time with your sister or do something more to do with life than sitting around your books and feeling complacent about it, when in fact, it's not going to matter. They are not going to count it in. No, eventhough, you've been doing all the shits in your power to do better than the shit you did for mid-year. Eventhough you WANT to do better, and you PUT in efforts. You will still look like a fucking damned knocked up bimbo because all you do is sitting around with your boyfriend or girlfriends eating fats in the world while talking about people's flaws. What is more ironic is that the teacher has always thought I'm a bimbo, and well, this is just going to confirm every thing. Oh well. Life is great . It's 3 more months to O level and I'm getting fatter and dumber as each days passed by. I'm loving it. Maybe I should just be nonchalant like any others. argh.
This is so muthafaggotly eating me slowly. It's a good thing God created tears.

My maid is not so bright but she's way nicer than my previous so I guess I'll just live with it for the time being. Groan. I wanted to say this week seems to be dragging its way, then I remember that tomorrow is thursday already, so... it's fast ! very very fast ! Guess I'll be wearing saree on friday. I don't know man, my tummy is so huge that I couldn't even see my legs. mmhh. Anyway, I did study today. POA that is.

I got sooo amazed by how people talk. I mean. yes " people talk. we talk. who cares " . But still ! it's just sooooo huge. Serangoon is after all a small small place aye. Well, here goes a little something. && I'm just going to say it once and for all. It does not matter what you think or want to see. What's important is what is right eventhough only a person is behind that. &&I do think this is right for me. It's me & him, yes. To hell with all you motherfaggots. and FYI . I have feelings for him . Now eat your heart out and get lost.

groaaaaaaaan. tomorrow is maths' . nyam nyam nyam

RANDOM

I'm up at the crack of dawn with notes scattering on the table which I've written for the past an hour or so. I want to get coloured skinnies, just not know which color - red, green or yellow -. Crap, it sounds so meaningless. Shopping, I mean. it would not get me any skinnier, or prettier, or cleverer. mmmh. Oh well. ah yeah. the most random part's ; I woke up with a heart half-filled with hate for that bitch, but the fact that I can't do nothing much about it is eating me up slowly. Then again, the fact that you're ignored is wayyyy more pleasing than seeing birds that fly. Gawd, you've been in my Dislike list since God knows when. Won't you just shut the fuck up and stuff all your bitchy flirtings and craps up your asshole, and not forgetting to sew your mouth so that you won't talk shit. Jesus Christ.

&& not only in school, but I also have to face a lil some some at home. Dang man, these people are so unbelievable. They think others would run thousand miles or cry a dollar to be their friends. For my sake, man, for mine and all the human beings, GET A LIFE before I could say jack robinson.

This is so stupid really. and school is like starting in 4 more hours. Maybe I'll git myself a cup of hot coffee to ease the wrath. I swear I could screw you , I really could, bitch. Maybe one day, when I'm all boiled.

nyam nyam nyam ~

Right. The sunshine's shining heavily down on me, but I guess I could pretend it's all good since I'm all set with not-up-to-par fried rice made by sis & a cup of cold green tea. Listening comprehension's done ! yeah, without no difficulties of hearing a single word. heh. It was really dead boring at the outset, though. I mean, songs that I know nothing of could really put me to sleep. well.

Hailey and D finally had a taste of my satay. Not exactly mine, sicne it's my mom who brought 'em brown fine thing, but oh well, who cares. Syg came shortly after. sorry for getting you drenched, hon. & oh, hailey & D sure did eat up butterflies in my stomache, haha. Yeah, we didn't really study today. Well, not even during mensuration test. I fell asleep and dreamt of Mr Tan giving me money to treat Hailey or bernice. mmh. Yeah, alright. I'm going to bathe && well, study.

it's been 19 hours 30 minutes (:

Mark this

around 11. Sunday, July 15.
we got together :)
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
hee -hee - hee


Love you, baby.

mmh. yeah.

so we went to church when the rooster hans't even got up , yet. when the whole world is apt to be in their lala land. It's stupid, really. Getting up in the morning just to do so. I mean, if we're sleepy, how could we put out heart into it when we are just too busy trying to stay awake. Oh well. I'll go at 11 next time, and I'll sit on top so no goddamned ass could tap me on my back because I was playing. Can I say it ? well, I'm gonna anyway. Fuck you. It's rude, but man, you are being so much of a busibody luhhhh

we're supposed to be out eating at some place yesterday, but , well, I don't know man. We're often at variance when it comes to trying to talk each other round, we are a world different. mmh. oh well. I love them many many, though. Oh, I bought new handphone too. I dont really need it. but well. mmh. I have v6, and my sis has 5700. so ... we could always change

I'm starting to be irritating, right ? maybe it's time. really. It's for our good, if I ever do that :)

mummy's back home now :(((((((((((((((((((((((((. was not prepared for that, at all luhhhhh. urgh. well. at least I got a hug from her. so It's my responsibility now, to take care of cindy.. mmh. yeah. alright. I'll go study after a week of playing around..

oh God oh God oh God oh God. :)

GAWWWWWWWWD . Harry potter is wayyyyyyyyyy cooler than your transformers, people. I believe many would second that at once. It's like undeniable. yes. adding to the coolness, my family was the companion . the whole lot of witonos ! except for bro since he got soccer training / match to attend. anyway, today was Godly goodie fun. Mummy's cool. except for the whole bitching thing, she could be one of me :D. mmh. Listening compre on monday.

I wonder ..
Did his heart beat as fast as mine ?
Did he breathe in like how I breathe in the smell of his skin ?
Did he feel like not letting go, but eventually had to ?
Does he feel , just want to hold ?
Does he wait for recesses or after-schools ?
mmmh. so many questions. yet, they are pointless-ly meaningless
oh well.

mmmh. today was alright, I supposed. I didn't fall asleep during the exams, that's like yayness. Hope I'll pass the test though, it's like, I fucking put efforts this time around, like really really. mmh, then had slight gastric after the test. Yes, luckily.

Syg syg , my syg ( Yes, he said I can call him with "my "). I feel like hugging him. haha

Hellooooooooooo people :) . Dang, I've been going to school with my sleepy-self. mmh. Blame the stupid PE on monday, which dragged till tuesday, then science papers on wednesday, && maths paper one on thursday. ( Would you rise up and scream all again now : SIANNNNNN ). Anyway. the paper, I supposed was alright. Getting an A is a no for-sure , maybe it's not even in the answer. oh well, at least it's over now. I'm crappily sleepy !! nyam nyam nyam. I have yet to play any of my playstation . weekends ! wee. Oh yes, mummy is going back on this sunday ! awww. She's coming back on august though. This is so not fair ! I was all alone 4 years back. I could not even rely on my bro to lighten my already-heavy burden. ssssshh. && I have to go to the market like every saturday ? don't wantttttt lahhhhhhhh. I can't stand the smell of fishes and the like. mmmmmmh. So so, I got back my maths paper, I FAILED ! 25 / 80 ! sssssshhhh. see see? I'm like freakingly not bright. oh well. I have yet to study for POA, AMATHS & the rest. anyway, I'm amazed how semangat my school people about the final today, were. Well. It's a huge deal , I'm telling you. mmh,I wish I understand a bit more about it other than goal kick, and defender's job ( thanks to syg ). well

Wewe went back today ! awww, so sad. I miss him already, haha. He's so fun lah. Oh oh, my then-bestfriend put up a picture of her kissing her boyfriend. Like lips to lips. like eeeeww. You're ruining the whole image of romance, babe. It's not romantic, really, it's a far cry from that.

I'll be yours if you be mine.

Yawn ~

mmmh. yeah. The practice exams going to take place in less than 12 hours time. I don't even know why I'm making a big deal out of this shit when everyone knows , for a fact, that I'm not going to do well. Oh well, let's just hope for the best. I'm not gonna eat before that and going to drink enough liquid, thank you. & darn,. the arithmetic test is like, first thing first in the morning. mmmh.

I love mummy and cindy and maccy and koko and papa. Sorry for the temper yesterday.
Pray for me now, and his knee to get better soon :(

Right. Today's like so much of a exhausting , energy-sucking day. Pe was fun ! Though I screwed up by not being able to catch the balls ( sorry to Lebron teammates, I didnt know its that difficult ). & I could have sworn, I was so restless after that. Was thinking of cancelling transformers, but since this is not going to happen any sooner ( besides, I KNEW he's gonna pay :D), so I just dragged myself. It was nice, I supposed. But well, I was too tired to actually set my mind to it. Crap :/. My stomach was screaming for food ! But it eventually came down to earth and decided to cooperate with me, Hence I wasn't really hungry anymore after that.

Then then, meet syg. Dang, he's so fine. haha. didn't think syg would come. Oh well, told you he's wonderful. haha. Right then, got home and mummy cooked noodles . Oh ! Cindy's starting school tomorrow at novena ! YAY ! she's following our path. But well, I'm sad that I can't be tehre for her, she's so .. touchy, see. mmmh. anyway, let's hope all the best for her, yes.

Alright now, I might just pull back any time, at any rate, well, don't get mua wrong. toodles now.

Okay I only have 7 minutes .

Life's been great. small bro and sis been veryyyyy .. veryy.. fun . yes. Dang, it feels like we never been apart from each other. Father. well, don't know what's gotten to him. MUMMY ! I love mummy ! :D

" sayang sayang I love you I miss you I love you I miss you I love you I miss you I love you I miss you I love you I miss you I love you Hugs and kisses sayang =) "
Oh God, He's such a wonderful huggable cute stomach-flipper .

It's chem now. Heaven or hell, Rain or shine, Eminem or you. I'll have to study chem.

Okay they are landing in like 10 more minutes.
maid's bedroom (checked)
living room ( checked)
mine ( double checky checked )
bathroom ( half checked)

Yes. I hope. she's satisfied with the result. well, at least I put efforts , didn't I. God knows :)
Vector was easy peasy, I guess. Yes. oh well. It felt good to finally be able do something right. That's what I've been missing, I suppose.

Oh baby, Your touch sets my soul on fire and makes my heart sings. You make my flying high. I need a sign, cupid. The right sign.

God. I feel so stupid

First, they would not care,really. Well, maybe my mom will. But the rest of the family. Jesus, I knew damn well who's the star is. God. Fancy calling me just to ask how's he. Fuck . I don't even care, God damn you. hear me ? Don't care.

Secondly, He also would not be bothered. (This is another he ) .He had done this too many times to actually taking this one seriously. Why should he, anyway ? I'm just some stupid ass who cut her fringe straight due to boredom and so stupid.

Thirdly, for ever putting hope, for ever even building it. I should have known. I should have never get swayed. I should have never be excited. God, now I'm dreading this already. This is going to turn ugly. Oh Fuck, I hate this.

fourly. well. Just because. because. God. I'm motherfuckingly stupid. Shit. I have let my guards down now.

Argh. God damn it

God ! Gosh !
they are coming today ! yes. in like, what... 12 more hours ? and I'll be spending 5 hours in school. one hour in journey & I'll just hav eto figure out the rest, Anyway the point's , THEY ARE TODAY ! & not only that, finally man, finally. As much as I like a companion, I'd be glad if there's no other breathing.

that is like yayness !
Pray for me for my vector , now. :)

GOD ! what am I doing ? tsk tsk tsk. no no no, this is bad , man. not good.awwwwwww. it's gonna happen again, ain't it ? :/

Anyway, I'm going to meet wewe today ! I think. Yes, since I did not go to school. and He'll only be staying for like what 5 days ? yes , I hope I'm going. I hope I have the courage to get there. Thank you now

maybe I like you. maybe only lahh

Gawd he's so cute . But Gawd, he has a girlfriend . mmmh
& I really should not eat anything before any exams, damn it. bye now

Okay. My life seems to be quite in order now. OMG OMG OMG OMG ! my family is coming. IT IS gonna happen yoll', I'm like excited shitless ! :D :D :D

Ah My english teacher commented on my essay. Wonder how badly I've done till I got called up. mmmm. anyway. I'll have to respect the audience, give more points and use existing phrases . haha. Man, I'm motivated now. Oh, I just received my Amaths paper. My second in my whole entire life ! Don't know should I hide it from my parents or not. mmh. Everyone agreed that first day's oral's harder than 2nd day's. Oh well. Just my luck :)

Damn. some people are just so... weird. emotionally unpredictable, made sense ? haha. Anyway , yes. Gawd , I hate those emotional people. The ones who say their lives suck when MATTER OF FACT they have every thing one should get. I just want to click my tongue, roll my eyes and turn my head before they talk about how slitting wrists is fun , or how they dread tomorrow to come, or how they have no friend when , God oh God, they are the one who wouldn't make efforts. alah. whatever lah. Not like it has anything to do with me.

I love alllllllllll my teachers. Yes, you heard me right. Gawd, they sure do have a weird way to show their feelings. Anyway. yes. School is soooooooooo much fun, man. Very very very fun ! :D. Not because I have many many friends, or merely because they know how to have fun etc etc. But basically just because I chose to be happy.

take care now :)

Today's so much of an unproductive day laahhhhh. I cut myself twice and happened to shake my hand so the blood are like... all over. Didn't study at all. Blame ahkong ! blame him for God's sake ! haha. anyway. school's tomorrow. Hope tomorrow will be productive day :). Called Hua today. Damn, it's happening. My sister is really coming ! awwwwwwww. I'm so happy hee-hee. Bye for now

Gawd, Life's good.
thank you :)

God doesn't punish. He wants me to learn something from all these. He loves me.

start.on a new . page .
tomorrow.
I swear , I will